December 23, 2010
Perry: The Cat Who Beat Up Santa Claus....
**On a Saturday afternoon, Tommy packed up Perry and headed to PetsMart to get in line for Santa. She decided to take one kitty at a time. Would be easier she tought. While Tommy and Perry waited, there were other kitties there looking for fur-ever homes. Tommy kinda wanted to get one—so she could have three. But Tommy never had THAT many kitties before! In about 5 years she’d know how that felt….anymew. Tommy and Perry waited as a big black puppy got his turn with Santa. The puppy was sweet and barked just once. Got his picture made and all was good.
**Tommy says you could almost say she glowed. She loved her some Perry, who had quite the personality. Tommy couldn’t wait for the picture and was happy when Santa motioned them up. Tommy held Perry, in her hands, by this time, and he just meowed a couple times. Nothing major, Tommy thought.
**So Tommy says to Santa, “This is Perry.” Santa is jolly and says, “Well, hello Perry” and starts to take Perry out of Tommy’s arms.
**Wrong move, Ol’ St. Nick.
**The next thing, Tommy says, is you heard Perry screamin’ and hissin’ and saw his orange arms just flyin’! Tommy still had a hold of Perry, who had a hold of Santa and Santa’s glasses were coming off his face. Somehow, Tommy held Perry. Peeled him off of Santa and got him in the carrier.
**The carrier rocked to and fro with Perry still screamin’. Tommy says her she knows her eyes were as wide as all get out. She stared at Santa whose glasses were crooked. When Santa took the glasses off, there was blood above his eyebrow and then Tommy saw blood from Santa's temple. The she saw the blood drops in Santa’s white beard. Tommy was in shock. Didn’t know what to do. The only thing out of her mouth was:
**“He’s had his shots.”
**Then Tommy started apologizin’. She didn’t know if the police were gonna come and haul off her and Perry. Who would bail them out of the pound? Everybody in the store just stopped and stared. Tommy just apologized over and over. Perry finally got quiet. I guess he had to catch his breath. Mrs. Claus came over and said to Santa: “He got you pretty good.” She left for a few minutes and came back with a first aid kit.
**Tommy just stood there as Mrs. Claus put stuff on Santa's wounds. Santa said, “Oh, it’s all right. He was scared.” Tommy apologized for the millionth time and declined Santa’s to try again. Instead Tommy chose to walk fast, yet tread lightly out of PetsMart just in case the police DID come.
**Once out in the parking lot, two ladies were walking puppies that wanted furr-ever homes. One of em looked at Tommy and asked, “You the one with the cat that tore up Santa?”
**Tommy was embarrassed and nodded. Then the lady started laughing. The lady walking a puppy came up and was told, “Yea, this is her.” That lady started laughing. Tommy says she had to laugh too. The first lady said, “Well, if Santa is gonna pose with animals, something like this might happen. Ya know, he had the dog right before. That probably spooked him. ” The first lady wanted to see Perry. So when Tommy opened the carrier, the first lady, said **"Yea, you look like a fighter!" And laughed more. They all did.
**Tommy realizes the lady could be right. She still felt bad. The first lady says, “Ya know, that was funny. You heard that cat through the store. Santa knows the perils."
** Tommy took Perry home. Sammy never even got the chance to get a picture with Santa. Tommy said no more. Not gonna risk it.
**And no police ever did show up.
**The first time I heard Tommy tell the story, Perry sat close with his ears back. I later got enough nerve to ask him what was he thinking the day he beat up Santa Claus. Perry didn’t want to answer then he realized I wasn’t gonna stop buggin' him. Perry’s answer?
**The cranky ol sour puss now a feisty feline in Heaven said he went ballistic cuz he didn’t know who Santa WAS! Yep. All the 5 ½ month old Perry saw was a big ol’ stranger in a red suit, with big belly and a bunch white hair and beard. The black puppy getting his picture made before him didn’t scare Perry---SANTA DID.